"For they are a little people, smaller than dwarves: less stout and stocky, that is, even when they are not actually much shorter. Their height is variable, between two and four feet." "They were a merry folk. They dressed in bright colors... but seldom wore shoes."
"Their faces were as a rule good-natured rather than beautiful, broad, bright-eyed, red-cheeked, with mouths apt to laughter, and to eating and drinking."
I find this self-explanatory.
They were "fond of simple jests at all times, and of six meals a day (when they could get them)." These were later expounded upon to consist of "breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner and supper." (list from LOTR movies)
On the simple jests front, I have seven words: knock-knock jokes and candy wrapper puns. Six meals a day: only six? But Aunt Beth, I'm hungry! Please! Can I have a yogurt? An ice pop? A sandwich? How about a piece of fruit? I'm starving!
Or my toddler niece having a bottle and cereal with her family for breakfast, a second breakfast of whatever I'm having, elevensies- usually yogurt melts, crackers, cereal, and such; lunch with me, snacking when she wakes up from her nap, supper with me, supper with her family, and sometimes "bedtime snacks" before the bedtime bottle.
"They were hospitable and delighted in parties, and presents, which they gave away freely and eagerly accepted."
Of course they don't mind giving presents; they generally spend Mom & Dad's money to buy them. And anyone who has ever participated in a Christmas morning knows that children will begin begging as early as five or six in the morning to open their presents. This eagerness may be additionally expressed through high-pitched shrieking at the sight of presents under the tree, jumping on beds, parents, or other adults, and tearing around as if they're on a sugar high, rather than having not eaten since the night before.
"Anything that Hobbits had no immediate use for, but were unwilling to throw away, they called a mathom. Their dwellings were apt to become rather crowded with mathoms."
Such as, but not limited to, baby books on shelves, old stuffed animals in corners, baby clothes and blankets in boxes, toys they no longer play with overflowing out from under the bed and toybox while the toys they do play with cover the floor.
"A love of learning... was far from general among them."
This is why summer is every school-child's favorite season, why they fake being sick to get out of going to class, and consistently whine about homework.
They were "more numerous formerly than they are today."
Check. My mom was one of eight kids in her family, and went to school with several kids in families of ten to fourteen children. The nationwide average number of children per family in the US has declined from 7 to 2 in the last two hundred years.
"They do not and did not understand or like machines more complicated than a forge-bellows, water-mill, or hand loom."
Luckily, swingsets, slides, bikes, sports equipment, TVs, cell phones, and toys such as legos fall within the 'simple-to-operate machines' category. The ease of operation factor explains why push-button machines, such as calculators and computers, are accepted, although they are technically more complex than, say, a slide rule.
They are "quick of hearing and sharp-eyed."
Although many suffer from selective listening disorder, it is a well-known fact that one need only whisper "pizza's here" to call children in from the park, and they can spot car keys, candy bars, and other valuables from across the room. Even if they are hidden in purses.
"Even in the ancient days they were, as a rule, shy of 'the Big Folk', as they call us, and now they avoid us with dismay and are becoming hard to find." "They possessed from the first the art of disappearing swiftly and silently, when large folk whom they do not wish to meet come blundering by."
This is especially true if they believe we are about to ask them to undertake some task, such as cleaning their rooms, taking out the trash, or setting the table. In slightly older specimens (ages 11-18), this behavior is frequently observed even when there is not a task to be done, and may be combined with protestations that it is "embarrassing" or "boring" to be in the company of the Big Folk.
They "do not hurry unnecessarily, but are nonetheless nimble and deft in their movements."
Again, the same being who is unable to walk down the stairs in less than ten minutes when one is shouting for her is quite capable of barreling down them at speeds so high as to seem almost out of control when friends are present. The same child who spends three hours doing the dishes is capable of running and climbing on playground equipment with great speed, and in an almost simian manner.
All quotations (unless otherwise stated) taken from the "Prologue: Concerning Hobbits" in J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings saga.
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