I'd weep in agony,
But I'm too dehydrated
There's no liquid left in me for tears
I'd scream in pain,
But my throat is already raw
And I can barely
Choke and gasp out
A few words at a time
O God, God
Why
Why
Why won't
You answer me
Why so far
From my groaning?
Wasn't it enough
To sell my clothes
Laugh at my nakedness
Punch me again and again
In a twisted game
Of Blind Man's Buff
Maybe I swallowed an IED
The only thing they let me drink
Was certainly bitter enough--
Worse than stale beer gone rancid
My body feels like it's
Blown apart--
Into human cell sludge
They mop up with a sponge
And pieces of beef stew meat--
No longer recognizable
As body parts
My chest aches
I swear I can feel
My muscles coming apart
Why am I the rope
In this tug-of-war?
My head is pounding
And I'm so weak
I can barely move my lips
My eyelids fall shut
Of their own accord
Not in sleep, just exhaustion
But there's no relief.
I'm still being stretched
Like I'm between
Two John Deeres at a tractor pull.
I'm still bleeding out
Drop by precious drop
From each of a hundred wounds.
There's not going to be a rescue
No one's coming to save me
I thought there was nothing
That could make this worse
Then I met my mother's eyes
Lost in the crowd of those mocking me
Surrounded by their hostility
She silently weeps
In empathy
I wish I could spare her this
And yet, I can't help but be glad--
In a small corner of my heart--
That she took the risk
To be here for me
But not even her love
Is enough to help me now
I'm ready for it to be over
I'm ready to die.
But I--
Given the choice--
Would endure it again
For you.
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